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Eloquent Plea For Free Overwatch Rejected By Blizzard In The Best Way

Reader Kyle really, really wants to play Overwatch, but he hasn’t been able to buy it. Hoping to earn a copy—using wit alone—he wrote to Blizzard about his valiant efforts to convince his wife he needs it.

According to Kyle, his plea began with a table dance, though his wife asked him to get down. Then he explained how desperately he needs Overwatch—because he wants it, he already calls Winston “Prof. Bananas,” and he hasn’t asked for anything in five years.

Well, almost nothing, as long as you don’t count a Darth Vader Pez dispenser, a waffle iron shaped like the DeLorean, and a Walking Dead blanket.

His wife’s refusal was—again, allegedly—accompanied by “hatred billowing from her cavernous maw filled with razor sharp teeth.”

Kyle asked Blizzard to send him a copy of Overwatch, and in exchange, he sent an original, previously unpublished work of art, “Deadpool Licking Some Rock. A Dog Watches.”

It’s hard to say whether Kyle courage or his artist’s eye inspired Blizzard to reply. Either way, a representative decided to take his case.

Giraze, we salute you for attempting to bypass the Wife.exe lock. Better luck next time.

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