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11 totally real earlier drafts of Melania Trump's speech

As the old expression goes: if you can't say anything nice, just say something someone else already said.

After speaking last night at the Republican National Convention, Melania Trump has been accused of plagiarizing a speech made by Michelle Obama, and there are word-for-word similarities to use as evidence.

But it must have been difficult for Melania, or her speech writers, to find something to say about her husband that wasn't already said about a different person. 

We're not sure why she settled upon the speech she did, but we uncovered several entirely, completely true first drafts of her speech.

1. I, Melania Trump, have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

2. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, to me, Melania Trump, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that “all men are created equal.” Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle field of that war. We come to dedicate a portion of it, as a final resting place for those who died here, that the nation might live. This we may, in all propriety do.

3. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. These are things that I, Melania Trump, believe and thought of individually. 

4. You, Smalls, are killing me, Melania Trump.

5. I, Melania Trump, believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.

6. I, Melania Trump, will have what she's having.

7. Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo? It's me, Melania Trump.

8. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep Melania Trump down. Also, I have never heard of the band Chumbawamba.

9. You're fired! By me, Melania.

10. So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I, Melania Trump, want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me...every day. This is not from the movie The Notebook.

11. I, Melania Trump, took a pill in Ibiza to show Avicii I was cool. 

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